Often, I have a dream. I am wandering through a large building, trying to get somewhere specific and I am lost. Last night, I was back at college at Whitman in Walla Walla. I was trying to return to my dorm room on the other side of campus. On the way there, I passed through an endless building, full of people. I knew none of them. They were college kids doing the usual things that college kids do. Not a one greeted me. Every door led to another strange room and when I finally exited the odd building, I was still a long way from my dorm room. I really had no idea which direction to go, even then.
What a frustrating dream this is and it’s haunted me for decades. What does it mean?
Let me hazard a guess. Most of us map out a direction for our lives when we are young and then discover we are going places we never expected to go. We are not in control despite our best plans and disciplined effort. It’s disheartening when our dream is replaced with a life we don’t like and didn’t want.
In my case, I like my life for the most part but there are elements I would alter if I could. Plenty of things happened over the years that I didn’t imagine or wish to happen. I always wanted to be a superhero, bigger than life kind of guy. Not going to happen.
Ultimately, humans wrestle with God for control of our fate and this common dream reflects it. We want to go back to where we started and redo some or all of our life. Jacob is a perfect example of this. His life diverged from his intent and hopes, over and over again. Forced to leave home too soon, four contentious wives when he only wanted one, constantly in danger from relatives who might kill him, his oldest sons are dangerous savages (except Reuben who is a numb-skull), and his favorite son is taken from him while still a teen, Jacob must have had a dream like mine many times.
My dream says: I want to start over and try again except I cannot find my way back to the beginning!
The most difficult thing to master in this life is to fully and completely trust God. Unconsciously I want to be god and direct my own steps. Looking back, I don’t like my work. Fortunately, the Master of all will take my stuff and remake it into something better and sweeter. It’s still hard to believe even at my advanced age so I keep dreaming…
Romans 8:28) And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (NASB)